so you’re going to the bahamas?here’s a few things to realize first … 1. you must be 45 or older to enjoy this place2. don’t get married here … it’s way to cliche and the next day some fatty will be toasting her toosh right where you said i do … do you really want that?3. prepare for an in-between of panama city, fl and las vegas but with paris, france prices4. don’t stay at the atlantis. you’ll never leave and you’ll never learn anything, but it will be fucking gorgeous and a shit load of fun — there’s a water park there.5. don’t take the damn taxis … there’s a bus 1/10th of the price and 100% more entertaining6. eat a sapodilla 7. everyone is nice except waiters and everyoooooonnnne takes their damn time - get used to this fast and plan for it ahead8. its $75 for 30 minutes on a damn jet ski … so not worth it9. you must get a day pass at atlantis $110 for the aquarium, beaches, pools and the ever amazing aquadventure 10. ladies —- don’t swim with dolphins if you’re on your period11. if the hotel tells you they’re upgrading you to a corner suite …. ask if it’s the corner suite that gets either a sunset or sunrise (both would be best) ORRR if your scenery is concrete ha … prepare yourself 12. DON’T TIP — you’ll notice on every receipt it says very small below where you sign 15% gratuity added already. sure if they do a great job add some love but please refer to #7 on this list. 13. the only good food you’ll find will be at the fish fry. just say take me to the fish fry and they’ll take you. also — cross the road to get your sapodilla14. buy your snorkel gear before you go … $75 for 2 and a lil bucket. 15. the water will blow you away. it’s pretty fucking awesome. 16. take a direct flight for the love of god you do not want to spend a 5 hour lay over in ft. lauderdale.17. there are casinos. bahamians can not gamble. what a tease. 18. ehhh im tired of typing … go and find out for yourself. it’s pretty cool place all in all. <3 

so you’re going to the bahamas?
here’s a few things to realize first …

1. you must be 45 or older to enjoy this place
2. don’t get married here … it’s way to cliche and the next day some fatty will be toasting her toosh right where you said i do … do you really want that?
3. prepare for an in-between of panama city, fl and las vegas but with paris, france prices
4. don’t stay at the atlantis. you’ll never leave and you’ll never learn anything, but it will be fucking gorgeous and a shit load of fun — there’s a water park there.
5. don’t take the damn taxis … there’s a bus 1/10th of the price and 100% more entertaining
6. eat a sapodilla 
7. everyone is nice except waiters and everyoooooonnnne takes their damn time - get used to this fast and plan for it ahead
8. its $75 for 30 minutes on a damn jet ski … so not worth it
9. you must get a day pass at atlantis $110 for the aquarium, beaches, pools and the ever amazing aquadventure 
10. ladies —- don’t swim with dolphins if you’re on your period
11. if the hotel tells you they’re upgrading you to a corner suite …. ask if it’s the corner suite that gets either a sunset or sunrise (both would be best) ORRR if your scenery is concrete ha … prepare yourself 
12. DON’T TIP — you’ll notice on every receipt it says very small below where you sign 15% gratuity added already. sure if they do a great job add some love but please refer to #7 on this list. 
13. the only good food you’ll find will be at the fish fry. just say take me to the fish fry and they’ll take you. also — cross the road to get your sapodilla
14. buy your snorkel gear before you go … $75 for 2 and a lil bucket. 
15. the water will blow you away. it’s pretty fucking awesome.
16. take a direct flight for the love of god you do not want to spend a 5 hour lay over in ft. lauderdale.
17. there are casinos. bahamians can not gamble. what a tease.
18. ehhh im tired of typing … go and find out for yourself. it’s pretty cool place all in all.

<3